Levi's Graduation

Today we had a party at Opa and Oma's to celebrate Levi's graduation from high school. Levi is the youngest of the 6 kids that Ben's parents have and now the "baby" of the family is done with high school! Crazy how time flies, I still remember the first time I met "P" (that is what he is called by all of us) he was just this red faced, chubby cheeked kid and now he is this grown up young man entering the real world. Congrats P on graduating and we wish you the best of luck as you find your place in this world!

Here is P with Frank & Lane (brothers) and Nick (bro in law).

Ben had to work so he did not attend graduation.

All of the "fam" at Levi's graduation party!

Ryker giving Kaden and "Wammy" a ride in the wagon at the party. Ryker loves this tractor and he loves the pup even more!

A Derby. A Birthday. A Baby Overnight.

After working all night and getting home at 5:30am, Ben, being the wonderful daddy he is decided to sleep just a couple hours so that he could still take Ryker to the fishing derby. They went last year when Ryker was 4 but didn't realize he was too young to "register" and they had to wait til everyone was done before he actually got to fish but this year being 5 meant he could actually be in the derby. So at 8:30am they left for the City Park to go fish! Ryker was SO excited! Although he was not the first one to catch a fish and win the new fishing pole prize he still caught the 2 fish that they are allowed to catch.

Later that day we went to Rob and Lesha's to celebrate Amara's 4th birthday. I still can NOT believe she is 4. I remember the day Lesha called to tell me she had a baby girl like it was yesterday. She was SO excited and I was SO excited for her. Like any kid, Ryker loves going to birthday parties. I don't know what he likes more...playing with the other kids or eating cake!

While at Amara's party, my friend Kara dropped off her 2 month old baby, Kaysen, who was going to be spending the night with Ryker and I (Ben had to work). She and her hubby were off to his high school reunion and I was more than willing to have baby Kaysen stay over. It has been SO long since I had a baby to care for let alone one to keep overnight and I didn't care if he was awake every hour...I was just happy to have a baby at my house. I secretly didn't want to give him back and either did Ryker...who I must admit is going to be the BEST big brother some day. He LOVES Kaysen...in fact he asked me if Kaysen could be his brother. I had to remind him that he is not our baby to keep and Ryker said "but I just love him" It breaks my heart because I know he wants a baby brother or sister so bad. He keeps saying to me, "when is Jesus going to take a baby from the sky and put it in your tummy?" I just tell him what I tell myself, hopefully someday soon. Anyway, Kaysen slept almost the entire night, only waking at 5am for a bottle. When he woke up again at 8am I scooped him into bed with Ryker and I and all 3 of us just laid there for a bit. Kaysen would smile at Ryker and Ryker would give a big smile back to him and tell me that Kaysen was happy to see him. Soon we came downstairs where Ryker had to feed him his morning bottle and then he wanted to sit by him and watch cartoons. It was SO cute to see him "play" the big brother role and although it made me long for a baby of our own even more, we had such a good time with this little guy in our house and would have him overnight anytime!

Jumpin' Fun

Tonight our friends, Kevin and Kara and their kids came over so that Kevin could help Ben put together our new TRAMPOLINE! I have been wanting to get one of these for SO long and finally made my way to good ol' Walmart to make the purchase! I knew that if I helped Ben it would probably end with one of us filing for divorce so I thought I would get some "man" help for him and call in Kevin. The two of them actually got it put together quite fast. The kids had SO much fun on it afterward and I admit it was fun for me too...although it made me realize I am certainly no kid but fun is fun no matter what age...or how sore it makes you! It brought back a ton of childhood memories and I was soon teaching the kids "crack the egg" and they were having a blast playing that. I can't wait for the hot summer days to come so that we can put a sprinkler underneath it and let the kids have a blast that way...another childhood memory I have with trampolines.

A Child's Innocence

So today Ben let Mocha into the field where Ned (the male mini horse) has been kept since the birth of Mable. We were told to separate them because if Mocha sensed that Ned didn't like Mable she would not "mother" her and therefore she would not take care of her. So since Mable was born Ned has been in a field that borders them but he could not get in to be by them. Today, however, Ben decided it was okay to let them be by each other and as soon as they got into the same field Ned had to get right down to business if you know what I mean. Ryker was outside and happened to witness this "event" and said, "ohhh look at Ned he missed Mocha so much and is giving her a big hug" Goodness, this child of mine makes me laugh so much.

Crash Up Cars

Last night I took Ryker & Kai to the demo derby...something I think everyone who has boys probably does. Ben had to work so this was a mom and son adventure. Kara and her girls came along too. Ryker thinks the derby is the greatest and now that we get to see it 2 times a year makes it even better. He sits and watches it from start to finish.

Oh Be Careful Little Ears What You Hear...

Today as Ryker and I were in the car driving into town, Ben was in front of us in his car going to Sunrise (this is a little corner store right down the road from us for all you non-Custerites) to get gas for the lawnmower. My conversation with him reminded me that kids pick up on everything adults say including the "no no" words. Our "short" little conversation went like this:

Ryker: "Where is Ben going?" (yep, he is still calling him Ben)
Me: "Oh he is just going to the store to get gas for the lawnmower."
Ryker: "No Shit."

I quickly turned back to him and said "Ryker you can't talk like that" but then I had to quickly turn my head back around to be sure he didn't see me smiling...not because I was proud but because it was really just too funny. He was so "matter of fact" when he said it. Guess I need to watch what we say better, I can't have my kid talking like that in school...I mean he already this past year in preschool told his teacher "I wish I was a bird so I could just fly out of here" which although not bad...but, well you catch my drift! ;)

What Could've Been

Today marks the day that I was suppose to have a baby. Crazy to think about yet hard to forget. I found out I was pregnant in October and we were overjoyed! I learned that my due date was June 2...my nephews birthday, another reason it is so hard to forget! However, I had another miscarriage and lost the baby at 7 weeks. I don't know why that one was so hard on me but it crushed me. Maybe it was because I wanted it SO bad, not that I didn't want it the other times but this time I was SO ready for a baby to hold in my arms and when I lost it my heart broke. I still get teary eyed thinking about it. All I have ever wanted in life was to be a mother and I am so thankful God gave me Ryker, he is my EVERYTHING, I just thought I would be a mother to many children. I have decided that I just need to put it in God's Hands...a lot easier said then done but I am trying! When I look back on my young adult life I had this timeline of when I would have kids and how many and I guess I just thought it would happen like I had pictured but life is tossing me in a different direction. I know many people struggle with having babies and I am thankful that I at least got one...I just pray and hope God gives us more! It is especially heart breaking because Ryker is asking everyday when he can have a brother or sister and it is a hard question to answer...one that I don't have an answer for myself! It really is true that the moment a mom finds out she is pregnant her heart is in it COMPLETELY and she is already in love with the little life growing inside her that she has never even met.